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Showing posts with the label humor

“Things Every Southern Woman Should Know How to Make”

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Alice clicked on the headline, mildly curious about what yet another stranger thought should be in her kitchen repertoire. Pictures of China plates mounded with crispy fried chicken, greens, cobbler, and a pile of biscuits a mile high flooded the screen, all set off with a pitcher of sweet tea beaded with condensation. The table was set; an apron draped off to the side next to a box labeled “Gramma’s Recipes” in fine calligraphy. She closed the browser and put away her tablet. She was born a Georgia peach, but she couldn’t make a cobbler to save her life. Did that mean she wasn’t southern? Or maybe just not “Southern.” For Alice, there was no recipe box full of family traditions. Her younger years were filled with rental homes in different states and her father’s voice coaxing her toward a text book rather than a cookbook. Metalworking and fabrication held more interest than learning to flambé or sauté. Did it make her less of a woman that her cooking skills consisted of fresh salads...

Poetry: You Never Went Back

The sesame seeds stuck to your teeth Started the chain reaction Laughter, like an infection spread like Rome’s consuming fires. An accident, that first giggle became a epidemic as the next table caught the fever. My laugh arced like electricity across the room. Composed, you stood Outcast, you turned to go. I offered frantic protests amidst hiccuped chuckles.

Poetry: Donors Wanted

Vampires don’t bite; They syphon with tubes and needles, And the blood is warm as it flows across your arm through the surrogate vein. The magnets claim someone needs blood every three seconds; And you count the seconds (one two three) As your life is drained. A fine cabernet for the undead.