“Things Every Southern Woman Should Know How to Make”

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Alice clicked on the headline, mildly curious about what yet another stranger thought should be in her kitchen repertoire. Pictures of China plates mounded with crispy fried chicken, greens, cobbler, and a pile of biscuits a mile high flooded the screen, all set off with a pitcher of sweet tea beaded with condensation. The table was set; an apron draped off to the side next to a box labeled “Gramma’s Recipes” in fine calligraphy. She closed the browser and put away her tablet. She was born a Georgia peach, but she couldn’t make a cobbler to save her life. Did that mean she wasn’t southern? Or maybe just not “Southern.” For Alice, there was no recipe box full of family traditions. Her younger years were filled with rental homes in different states and her father’s voice coaxing her toward a text book rather than a cookbook. Metalworking and fabrication held more interest than learning to flambé or sauté. Did it make her less of a woman that her cooking skills consisted of fresh salads
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Criticism

Something I’ve learned, not only from my tentative prodding of the publishing world, but from life in general, is that we will receive criticism. Whether it’s on our looks, job performance, or in many of our cases, our art. And I’ve learned, particularly with the last one, that I must be prepared for it.

I am a writer. I want to share my characters and their lives and loves and adventures with every last person willing to read about them. And I want them to love them as much as I do. Some people do love them, think they’re perfect and wondrous… and some not so much. What do I do with the not-so-much people? I accept their criticism with a thank you and see what I can learn from it.

They aren’t always right. They’re not always kind. Some may be harsh without realizing they are harsh. But if nothing else, I know that that person is not my target audience. I’ll admit even constructive criticism given gently can spark the urge to knock my head against the desk a couple times in frustration. Do I do this? No.  I take a breath and I try to learn.

The thing is, almost always, there is something to learn. And in the end, if I can’t learn from it, a criticism is like advice. I don’t have to act on it.

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