“Things Every Southern Woman Should Know How to Make”

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Alice clicked on the headline, mildly curious about what yet another stranger thought should be in her kitchen repertoire. Pictures of China plates mounded with crispy fried chicken, greens, cobbler, and a pile of biscuits a mile high flooded the screen, all set off with a pitcher of sweet tea beaded with condensation. The table was set; an apron draped off to the side next to a box labeled “Gramma’s Recipes” in fine calligraphy. She closed the browser and put away her tablet. She was born a Georgia peach, but she couldn’t make a cobbler to save her life. Did that mean she wasn’t southern? Or maybe just not “Southern.” For Alice, there was no recipe box full of family traditions. Her younger years were filled with rental homes in different states and her father’s voice coaxing her toward a text book rather than a cookbook. Metalworking and fabrication held more interest than learning to flambé or sauté. Did it make her less of a woman that her cooking skills consisted of fresh salads...

The Pitfall of Internet Immediacy

Something you read makes you mad. Someone directs a comment to you that you find offensive. What do you do?
Most people’s reaction—I’m guilty, too—is to smart off in return. Unfortunately, the internet makes it all too easy for us to spout off things we later regret. With the various outlets to express ourselves, we really must learn to watch those impulse replies. Not only do they often result in shame, they accomplish nothing. Except maybe to feed the trolls.

Don’t feed the trolls. If something makes you really angry, walk away. Shut off the internet, shut down the computer if you must, and take a breather. Decide if it’s even worth your time. Most things aren’t. If it’s something you absolutely have to respond to, wait. An hour, a day, a week, if that’s what it takes for you to calm down. Then open up your word processing program (not the comment or reply on the web site!) and write what you need to say. Read it. Walk away and read it again. If by now, you feel confident your words are strong and convey your message in a fashion that portrays your passion and intelligence, make it public.

You may still get trolled. People will almost certainly still disagree with you. But those same people will respect a thought-out answer and will hopefully reply in a thoughtful way as well. Everyone wins!

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